


I can't live without you..

by Alexander_honestly_needs_sleep



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens Fluff, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Bottom Alexander Hamilton, Depression, Gay John Laurens, Human Disaster Alexander Hamilton, Hurt Alexander Hamilton, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Protective John, References to Depression, Social Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Top John Laurens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25525909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexander_honestly_needs_sleep/pseuds/Alexander_honestly_needs_sleep
Summary: John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton have been sent to a camp to "cure" their mental health. As they struggle to deal with their own minds they have to come to terms with their own feelings towards each other.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy, y'all, so like this is my first story on AO3 so uh yeah- trying to work out how this whole thing works but I'll get there. I hope you like the first chapter :)))

“I believed him one too many times; this would be the last.”

Alex shook his head and handed John the plastic knife. “He's insane!” John shrugged and continued to walk to grab a paper plate. Alex sighed and rolled his eyes, grabbing his own plastic knife and followed after John. “Why don’t you believe me?” He cried out as they both grabbed their plates and made their way to the serving station. John just turned his head and blankly looked at him. “I do I just don’t have the energy right now. “ He smiled. “Plus! I’m starving.” He chuckled. 

Alex shook his head. “Right- right…” He sighed.

Once both of them had been served they sat down at a nearby table. “I don’t get the point of this place,” Alex exclaimed as he grabbed the knife and cutting into the slab of meat. John chuckled. “They’re just trying to cure our mental health. Which is absurd! When we were hanging off that cliff I wanted nothing more for my harness to be faulty!” He semi joked and cut into the meat onto the plate. Alex looked at John concerningly. “John-” He looked at him softly. The other boy sighed. “Fine fine- I know- I just- I can't help it. I can’t stop- i-it’s” He looked down and sighed. “Nevermind- I can’t get the words out”

Alex sent him a warm smile. “It’s fine I get it. I just wish they were nicer to us. I was having a panic attack and the camp leader got mad at me. Told me to calm down and pray. Like yeah I believe in God and Jesus and all that but like seriously? I’m still gonna have an anxiety disorder” He stated angrily as he reached over for a fork. John nodded in agreement.

John swept his blonde hair out of his and grunted as his hand accidentally pressed up against his cut. “ I fucking hate it here.” 

Alexander made a small squeak of agreement and they both continued on with their meal.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Alexander got a lighter and slowly brought it to the paper. “The paper is Thomas and the lighter is me and my anger towards him.” He grinned as he explained to the blonde boy sitting next to him on Alex's bed. “The fire is the same color as your hair” John smiled and ruffled the younger boy’s hair. “Ginger ninja” Alex smiled back. “That's me- but honestly. Just wait till I beat him up. Like- he’s such a piss boy! He and his little servant guy- “James?” “James.”

John nodded. “Fuck yeah. That’s my dear boy” Alex beamed at the nickname. “You’ll come if I call up for backup...right?” John nodded. “Of course. No other place I’d rather be than helping you take down so idiots” Alex giggled and flicked off the lighter. “What time is it” “7:30”

“Fuck. I hate light’s out. Remember that time I tried talking to you and the leader yelled at me?” John nodded along, smiling as parts of the memory became bold in his mind. “ Yeah I have to be quiet,” he said sadly. “Don't worry, we have all of tomorrow to talk” Alex smiled at him and rested his head on his shoulder. “My favorite part of the day”


	2. The Forest of Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Alex have some more bonding time. Just as everything seems to be going well- there is a change of events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYBODY THAT HAS READ THE FIRST CHAPTER! IT MEANS SO MUCH!!!! Anyways this is the second chapter. I'm sorry these aren't super long- I'll work on it.

Alex walked out of the cabin, John following right after him. “I really don't wanna do this man” He looked back at John. The blonde boy wrapped an arm around him and softly patted his back. “Me too. We should run away though” Alex nodded in agreement.

“Oh to run away and be a cottagecore bitch” Alex smiled and booped john on the nose. “Damn Al didn’t know you were into that-” He smiled and shrugged. “I like that ya know- run away. White, innocent colors. Dandelions and sunflowers. Roses and picnics in the field. Apple juice and lambs and just- AHH ITS JUST MMM” He yelled and threw his hands. “THE AMOUNT OF EMOTION I HAVE BUILDING UP IS JUST INSANE” He screamed again and looked at him with his eyebrows furrowed. “Dang princess chill-” “NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!” He yelled again and ran away jokingly.

John sighed and cupped his hands around his mouth. “ALEX COME BACK” He chuckled slightly. Alex cheekily turned his head and smiled. “CATCH ME IF YOU CAN SUCKERRRR” He said as he once again ran off, heading into the directions of the large forest that seemed to go on forever.

Suddenly, it wasn’t a game for John. His best friend had just run off and now? He may be lost. Lost. Alone. John knew deep down Alex couldn’t stand being all alone. Hell, he’s 5’4 and barely has any muscle strength. He was like a mouse to a fox. Prey to what? A bear. Yeah- he’s a goner. John angrily sighed and ran as fast as he can in the same direction Alex went in. 

///////////////////////  
The thick bushland blocked his path and immediately John began to itch as sticks and long grass rubbed against his bare legs. He grimaced and kept going, walking over long logs and getting trapped between larger plants.

He sat down, sighing with defeat and his head in his hands.

Alex was gone. His little buddy. All alone out there. Well- he had forgotten he, himself, was just as lost as his ginger-haired friend. “Oh, Alex...Where are you…?”

//////////  
Before he knew it, there was a rustle from behind the bushes. “JOHN I FOUND ME A NEW PET. SHE’S SO FUCKING PRE- “Alex?” “YEAH IM HERE!” 

John immediately got up and turned to the direction of Alex’s voice. Alex popped up from the bushes, a smile on his face and a twig piercing through his hair. “Look!” Alex put out his arm to show a small blue butterfly perched on his arm. “I named her puggle!” He giggled and took a few steps closer to John. “She’s so pretty!” He said as his eyes widened in adoration. “I just- okay Alex- she is pretty I admit that, but- w-what happened? I don’t understand? You ran off- “OH! Don't worry. In fourth grade I was a scout so believe it or not I can kick a bears ass!” “That’s not- okay”

Alex looked up at him. “Anyways we should like leave-”

“One problem.”

“Hm?”

“I don’t know the way out…”

“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-”


End file.
